Sunday, February 27, 2011

New Oscar Categories

Speaking of the Oscars, I’d meant to post this a few days ago. Oops.

Cracked.com has terrific article with suggestions for new categories. I fully endorse Best Stunt. The others are maybe a bit to… quirky for the Oscars though. Maybe the MTV Movie awards.

Oscars 2011

It’s Oscar time again, which means awards are going to be handed out to films I’ve never seen and/or heard of. I remember years ago when nominees were announced I’d root for someone. These days it seems I just don’t care and yet I watch anyway. Anyway  a couple observations:

  • an ‘F-Bomb’ in an acceptance speech, classy
  • Hey Sorkin, enough already, wrap it up
  • RDJr and Jude Law are awesome
  • I’m sad How to Train Your Dragon lost, I haven’t seen Toy Story 3 yet but I LOVED Dragon. I’m also feeling the continuance of a backlash that stated with the overrated Up, it’s the Animated Feature category, not the Pixar category
  • Has Sandra Bullock aged since Speed?
  • Who invited Oprah again? At the Emmys sure, but Oscars?
  • Halle Berry looks fantastic, what has she been doing lately
  • Auto Tuned musicals for the win! *
  • Ah Billy Crystal, the good ol’ days
  • Did they leave out Patrick Swayze in the RIP montage? Was that long enough ago it was last year?
  • Spielberg presenting for best picture ‘…the losers will be in the company of Citizen Kane…’  - Classic

In related news, the Razzies are out. Not suprisingly The Last Airbender got the lions share with Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst Eye-Gouging Misuse of 3D, Worst Screenplay and Worst Director. Sex in the City 2 took most of the other categories.

*Lazy Basterd fully supports the use of Auto Tune for the creation of one-off 3 minute skits, any attempt to create a full length feature will be met with hostility

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Step 1: Survival, Step 2: …

As I was looking over my preparations of my bomb shelter (insurance agents get weird when you say zombie shelter) I began to wonder about more than mere survival. What do you do with the zombies? You can’t kill them, they’re already dead. And it came to me. Cement shoes and a baseball bat. Viola – interactive piƱatas!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Jukebox–Kinetic Harvest from Shatter Soundtrack

The game itself is like Arkanoid on steroids.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Ghost Story–Delayed

According to Jim… Butcher, not the show, Ghost Story is delayed until July. The 13th (14 if you count Backup, 15 if you count Side Jobs) book in the totally awesome Dresden Files was supposed to come out in April. Jim basically said we could either get a half-assed story in April, or a full-assed one in July.

*Source

I’m told she’s attractive…

Am I the only one not into the whole Olivia Munn thing? According to the internet* she’s the greatest thing since Megan Fox and any gamer must kneel before her. Well, ok, she’s attractive, but not spectacularly so. I’d trade an Olivia Munn for a Sarah Shahi in an instant.

*Needs citation

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Superbowl Commercials Early

http://screenrant.com/ has several Superbowl trailers posted early. My question is why? Isn’t the entire point of $3 mil for a 30 second spot so you can have a world premiere with the largest audience of the year? Instead any bozo that can type youtube gets access.

It’s a vast right-wing conspiracy.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Jukebox–The Little Things by Danny Elfman

This song is from the soundtrack to Wanted, an underrated action movie from a few years ago. Catchy as hell.

Movie Review: Robin Hood–Crowe Edition

I’m previously mentioned my irrational hatred of Russell Crowe, so it was with a certain trepidation I placed Robin Hood in the ol’ PS3. The film opens with us finding out that Crowe is not in fact, the erstwhile Robin Loxley, he’s Robin Longstride, fourth archer from the right in Richard’s army as they trudge back home from the Crusades. After Richard gets himself killed, Robin and some buddies (Allan-a-Dale, Little John and Will Scarlet) desert figuring it was hard enough getting paid when the King was alive. The groups head off to England only to come across the slaughtered of knights that were returning the Crown to London. A dying Robin Loxley begs Robin to return his sword to his father. After looting the killed knights and becoming rich, Robin figures karma’s a bitch if he doesn’t return the sword, so they do.

Once Robin gets to Nottingham he hooks up with ‘Robin’s’ dad who ask Robin to stick around and pretend to be ‘Robin’, he’s old and without an heir the crown’s just going to claim the lands. Marion isn’t happy about being forced to pretend to be married to a fake Robin (she was married to Robin Loxley for like, a day, before he left for the Crusades). Robin takes to being a noble very well showing much more wisdom, compassion and intelligence solving the problems of the local lord’s domain than you’d generally expect from the fourth archer from the right.

Meanwhile, Lord Godfrey has hooked up with King Phillip of France to invade England now that Richard’s dead and the little prat John is in charge. The nobles and their armies get called up to fight off the invasion and Robin shows much more tactical brilliance than one might generally expect from the fourth archer from the right.

Some other stuff happens, but who cares. You may have noticed I didn’t mention anything about Sherwood forest, bandits, the Sheriff or an archery tournament. That’s because there isn’t one. The sheriff makes a brief appearance to hit on Marion, but it’s obvious he’s no match for the fourth archer from the right. Marion thinks she’s Eowyn at the big fight at the end, something I just don’t see from a middle-aged noble woman in 12th century England. Maybe I’m off on my history, but weren’t they expected to sew?

In the end I didn’t hate the movie, it was so 'meh’ to have strong emotions approaching hate, it’s just so tame compared to Gladiator (Scott and Crowe’s other history romp). Catch only if you’re a nut for old school sword battles. Which I am… Oh yeah, just skip it. Catch Kevin Costner’s Prince of Thieves or Disney’s Robin Hood, you know, the one with the foxes.

2 1/2 Stars -my review
3 Stars – Netflix prediction

*out of 5

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