Movie Review: Legion

I encourage everyone to watch the trailer for Legion, it’s awesome.

The movie… well, it has a few awesome moments, they’re just all in the trailer. Such potential, sigh.
The movie spends way to long with setup – okay there’s a diner in the middle of nowhere, we get it. let’s move on. The pregnant girl that about to give birth to Jesus 2.0 (or whatever, not ever explained) just isn’t likable. If Mary was like this no wonder she was kicked to the manger. Dennis Quaid is trying to way to hard to make us under that yes, he is indeed a a white trash hick. The… I guess secondary hero, ‘Jeep’, I only remember the name because it’s stupid, is whiny and unfocused. For most of the movie he comes across as a stalker (of said pregnant chick) than a hero.

Characters aside, the plot has more than a few holes. God, it seems, is fed up with the humanity’s bullshit and wants to end it all. Michael, God’s right hand, decided God’s having a bad day and come to his senses once the kid’s born, so he’s going to protect the kid. Anyway, last time God sent a flood, this time he’s sending angels. Angels who are killed quite easily with a handful of guns. Seriously, the flood would’ve worked much better. Or an earthquake. It’s God, can’t he just say ‘Die’ and people die? These angels are like a cross between the hillbillies in ‘The Hills have Eyes’ and agents from ‘The Matrix’. One also wonders why they don’t just possess one  or all of the half dozen people in the movie instead of trying to kill them. Michael makes a comment ‘They can possess the weak-willed’ – ok fine, but the other characters aren’t exactly what comes to mind when I think ‘strong-willed’, look like fair game to me. One final complaint – I am not religious, but I have a passing familiarity with some names. I would’ve liked for someone to comment on Michael ‘Wait, angel Michael? As in Archangel Michael? Holy shit!!’.

I don’t want to sound to down on the movie, it’s not horrible, it’s just so incredibly average when compared to the potential in the trailer. There a few things that were in fact, cool. Michael’s fall and initial appearance are neat. The family trapped at the diner also seemed  oddly realistic, with the daughter doing the teenage rebel thing, mom’s embarrassed and dad’s taking it in stride. Charles S. Dutton is another bright spot, he doesn’t have a large part, but hey, it’s Charles S. Dutton. FInally, I must give props to Paul Bettany as Michael who, while I really have no idea who he is (apparently he’s the voice of Jarvis in Iron Man, thanks IMDB!), is suitably intense. Put this dude in more a role like Jason Bourne, please.

2 stars out of 5