Saturday, March 27, 2010

Lazy Movie Review: 9

The CGI post-apocalyptic robot movie, not the musical with Daniel Day-Lewis.

Well, um… it’s pretty. I’ll summarize the plot as best I can. Movie opens with 9 waking up in an attic lab, there’s a dead dude on the floor and a MacGuffin laying nearby. 9 takes the MacGuffin as it looks interesting and looks round. Hey, there’s a guy wandering around outside – let’s go say hi! 9 meets 2. 2 is very excited to see the MacGuffin. 9 and 2 get attacked robo-doggie. Robo-doggie is also excited to see the MacGuffin. Robo-doggies kidnaps 2 and takes the MacGuffin. 9Hooks up with 5, 8 and 1. 9 and 5 leave to rescue 2. Shit hits the fan and 7 rescues 2, 5 and 9. She (7’s a chick) also kills robo-doggie. Everyone’s saved and they all live happily ever- no wait, that' would’ve made sense. Rewind a bit. After 7 rescues everyone, 9… finishes what robo-doggie was doing with the MacGuffin – thus waking up SkyNet and unleashing a horde of Termin- wait wrong series, but it’s essentially the same.

And that’s where I rolled my eyes and tuned out. I kept the movie going but my concentration was on rearranging my DVD shelf. Granted at this point 9 is like, a day old. But c’mon! Evil robo-doggie is trying to do something, robo-doggie dies. Don’t finish what he was doing!!

Ug, makes me wonder who exactly this film was supposed to be targeted at. It’s a CGI animated movie which is like kddie porn (you know what I mean!) It’s PG-13 though and plot points are pretty heavy. World War 3, the extinction of mankind, robot death and the setting is right out of Fallout. It’s to intense for kids and to moronic for adults.

***With this review I’m instituting a new rating aspect (assuming I remember to do it again). I’m going to list my score, and what Netflix thought I’d think. Just to compare this stuff, Netflix is eerily accurate.

2 Stars – My Rating
3 Stars - Netflix prediction

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